i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
