Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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