I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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