One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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