i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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