Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
