My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who died my cat blue again?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
