Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
