too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
