whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
