if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
