just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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