She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
