you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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