I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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