she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
