im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
