He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
