great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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