There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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