You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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