the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
