you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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