It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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