Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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