it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
