That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
