what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
