And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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