Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
