and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize