do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
