Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
