A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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