So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
