Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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