if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
