you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize