i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got inside last night via doggy door
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
