i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
