i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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