dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
