Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
