haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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