I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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