I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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