maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize