My brain says no but my pants say off.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
