Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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