I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
