I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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