my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
