super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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