Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
