There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
