..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When are your genitals available?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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